Health & Beauty

VARSITY VIRGIN

I didn’t realize until this year that it wasn’t cool to enter the pearly gates of higher education with your virginity still intact. It’s funny that today, going to college without having swiped the proverbial, built-in, one-time-use, Visa with a capitol V would seriously hinder one’s ability to get a proper college degree.

I mean, clearly this couldn’t be further from the truth and yet, I hear more about my friends’ need- not desire- to lose it before they ship themselves off to whatever school in which they’ve chosen to enroll.

Now, I subscribe to the narrative that virginity is a sexist social construct, so perhaps that’s why I put little to no weight on its existence, but I know plenty of people who also claim that virginity is BS and not for the same femi-nazi reasons as myself. Though, most of those people aren’t virgins, so perhaps that has something to do with it.

Personally, I’m so vehemently anti-virginity because of Teen PEP (Teen Prevention Education Program (i.e. a glorified popularity contest which my school holds for the sophomore class every year wherein the winners get free teeshirts, the chance to teach freshmen sex ed and an addition to their college application), that I’ve found it impossible to see virginity as anything other than a tool to control and devalue women. We spent several class periods in Teen PEP discussing the significance of the sacred virginity, which only solidified my current views on the intangible chain we have latched onto a woman’s self worth.

The seemingly pointless discussion proved to be useful in one aspect: it brought me to the realization that few of my classmates could define “virginity.” Something that cannot be defined is usually categorized under “enigmas” in my brain and yet, virginity somehow made it into the “bullshit” line.

It isn’t defined because it does not exist, at least not naturally. It’s a manmade (emphasis on the man) concept that we hurl against one another to determine a plethora of arbitrary social labels that we then pin to each other for sport.

It’s rather complex actually. Just because something is ineffective, riddled with disproportionality and systemically geared against women, doesn’t mean it isn’t well thought out- take the American Political System for example.

Virginity is utilized as a character judgment and has been used as such for almost all of modern time. We take it so seriously, so seriously that its incorporated into the curriculum of my sex-ed class. How to Spot a Virgin: 10 Easy Steps! Is Your Girlfriend a Whore?: Take Home Virginity Test! Are You A Loser?: How To Lose Your Virginity by the End of Senior Year!

Conceptually, the status of one’s sex life is not directly indicative of their physical health. Actually, someone could be abstinent for a whole decade, be disease free and never given birth AND still, the fact that they had sex once mars the way in which we define them for the rest of their lives.

Or conversely, being a virgin can be equally as negatively definitive to someone, especially guys, who are expected to smash as soon as possible to prove that they can totally get it. That is just so stupid it topples on the verge of incomprehensible.

And yet, there’s this race to bang before going to college, where I guess the assumption is  everyone’s already had sex before arriving on campus. It’s like banging is a prerequisite course to higher education.

Despite how clearly ridiculous this notion is, kids will continue to adhere to it. So I guess someone better bring a shit-ton of condoms to Seaside because as they say in Mean Girls:

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