Advice

YOU ASKED IT WEEK 8

I SUCK at parties. I’ve always been a socially awkward person, and my “small talk” usually ends by me not knowing how to continue any conversation. I cringe whenever it’s my turn to ask someone a truth or dare or when I have to come up with something funny enough for “Never Have I Ever” on the spot. Any suggestions?

KEEP IN MIND my suggestions are going to be kept to LEGAL and pretty PG activities directed towards underclassmen; I don’t want to be responsible for getting anyone caught in a risky situation. If you find these ideas “lame” or too immature for your most-likely R-rated and slightly illegal throwdowns,

As for truth or dare/never have I ever, some of my favorites that I’ve heard are:

  • Truths:
    • List everyone you’ve liked/wanted to hook up with since freshman year
    • Any kiss, marry, kill
  • Dares:
    • PRANK CALLS are an easy way to get people laughing
      • Call in sick to a store you don’t work at (check out JennaMarble’s video)
      • Call someone and tell them you took a shit on their lawn

I really want to start going vegan, but I’ve tried and failed so many times. How am I supposed to stay motivated while living in a non-vegan household??

First of all, go you!! I’m not vegan myself, but I can see how going from a standard American diet to a no-meat, no-dairy, no-eggs diet is a drastic lifestyle shift. The biggest, most general tip I can give you is to EDUCATE YOURSELF. Through a simple Google search, you can find exactly what foods you want to cut out, and what new foods you can eat to maintain healthy protein/iron/etc. levels in your body.

As for motivation, the easiest way to not eat something is to not buy it (this concept can also be applied to saving money, quitting bad habits, etc.). Assuming that you’re living with your parents and their finances, total control over the groceries is pretty unaccomplishable. My best advice is to talk to your parents and go shopping with them so that you have control over what you want to eat. Encourage your family members to switch up their diets too!! It’s understandable if they don’t want to dive into a vegan diet right away, suggest buying almond milk or soy milk as a long-term alternative for your household. If you have younger siblings who love ice cream and butter, make cookies with coconut oil or have them try non-dairy ice creams with you!!

Last but not least, a key to motivation is finding an incentive. Set goal for yourself that incorporates veganism, such as cooking more often, or eating healthier. Go vegan with a friend who is also super determined to convert so you can keep each other accountable for sticking to your new diet. Reminder: big lifestyle changes is hard for anybody, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you cave or come to a roadblock. As long as you enjoy it, you’re doing it right.

I just got out of a super unhealthy three-year relationship. And I’m still in love with him and hurting over the breakup. How do I get over heartbreak, especially when he was the center of my universe since eighth grade? It doesn’t matter if I join clubs or talk to friends. It doesn’t matter that I have other offers. I’m sad and miss him every day. Everyone has given me such shitty advice– “he wasn’t worth it anyway” or “there are other fish in the sea”, etc. — But what if I never love someone that deeply again? What if, even if I could, I don’t want to move on? I miss him. SO much 😦

It sounds like you’ve already heard all the clichés so I’m going to cut to the chase– wipe your tears, and focus on what’s next for you. You’ve already identified this relationship as super unhealthy, which is a great first step for getting over this guy. Now you need to ingrain in your brain the fact that SELF LOVE IS THE BEST LOVE. I can guarantee you that in the future you will love and be loved again.

In reference to talking with friends and joining clubs, DO IT. Coming out of any kind of long-term relationship can leave you lost and without direction when you’re not alongside your partner 24/7. Although returning to pre-relationship activities after doing the same things with the same guy for 3 years may seem a little foreign, it’s honestly the best thing you could do. Trust me, even Seventeen magazine said so. You should definitely give yourself the time you need to recover, but forcing yourself to medicate with friends and social interactions can act as a catalyst to getting over this guy.

Eventually, you’ll find yourself thinking of this guy less and less. You’ll really start reflecting on your relationship and all its negatives. If it was truly detrimental, you’ll realize it soon enough. Remind yourself that your own happiness is only under your control, and you don’t need to rely on a significant other to validate it. It’s time to see how incredibly amazing and radiant you can be — all on your own.

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