Written by Lily Murray
My freshman year of high school I was into my third year of braces, and I played oboe because I couldn’t stand the idea of being last chair flutist in the band. I know it sounds lame because it was. I first started partying after I got my braces off and went to a meditation retreat, which boosted my confidence levels. Even braces free, I didn’t start going to those stereotypical high school parties and getting turnt until Junior year (although my mom would help me host two garden parties in my backyard every year before that). Now that I have completed a study abroad experience, and I feel like I can inform you from an outsider looking in on how to slay at parties.
1. ARRIVE LATE
No host likes the person who arrives when they are taking their pre party shower or are still setting up the napkins/fairy lights (like at my garden parties I mentioned before.) Arriving on time is ok. Arriving 15 minutes late to a dinner party is rude, but if it’s a partially illegal gathering of young people go for it. Heck come an hour late and tell a good story as to why you arrived so late.
2. BRING AN EMOTIONAL CRUTCH
As a twin, my go to emotional crutch is my stylish, tall, and blonde brother Noel. If I’m failing to make friends at the party, I just talk to him to look cool. If it’s not my brother, I have a large variety of friends that I have to do this with. When I use my friend Ben (a raving socialist), and everyone thinks we are having a small DSA meeting in the corner of the party while in reality, we are just socially incompetent
3. BRING TURNUP MATERIALS SNACKS AND JUICE
Everyone will like you if they get a sip of your Rosé orange juice right?
4. LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLES STORIES
Even if you don’t know them and will maybe never see them again listen to them rap that rap about Taylor Swift in their IPhone notes from 7th grade. You never know they may become famous one day.
5. STAY LOYAL TO YOUR EMOTIONAL CRUTCH
It’s not fair if they have to take the subway 20 stops away just because you found a place to sleep in significantly nicer neighborhood only 5 stops away.
6. SET BOUNDARIES
Don’t go to a party if you know you have work or class the next day it’s not worth it. FOMO is real, and generally, you’re not missing out on much.
7. DRESS WELL
As ZZ Top once proclaimed ‘Cause every girl crazy ’bout a sharp dressed man.’ (or woman if you pick up what I’m putting down). Read a GQ or Vogue try a little, and you don’t need to spend that much money. Shop your own closet or your parents ;). Serve looks honey.
8. YOUR FRIENDS > THE PERSON YOU ARE HOOKING UP WITH
Unless this is your fiancé go home when your friends want to. Friends are generally forever man. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
9. BE OPEN TO NEW PEOPLE
Once I got in a picture with a girl who had 16k followers on Instagram (ok that was a big deal for me idc if you met Paris Hilton, Bill Clinton, or Steve Jobs). My famous short-term memory kicked in after taking the picture and I had to ask for her name 2 times after initially learning it. Once I met a Danish club promoter. Once I met the son of a very famous alcohol family and I got to drink the alcohol with my friends and him the next day! It’s a small world you know!
10. WHO CARES IF YOU WEREN’T INVITED
Just kidding being invited will probably make you feel a lot better about being there (I learned this the hard way). Even if this includes being invited off the street (just kidding you will probably feel pretty sketchy the whole time also learned this the hard way and immediately called in a emotional crutch).